The Chief Visionary, A Go-Getter, Food & Animal Lover, your Chef & Ninja Mom.

Stop Victimising Yourself!

stop victimising

Lately, I am surrounded by people who think and feel they are not good enough. Being used or taken advantage of. These people can be people that you thought are the most confident of all. They have great positions, dressed well and doesn’t seem to have problems at all. They could be people that is sitting next to you now. They could be your neighbor, colleague or siblings.

Deep down, they are lonely (or feel lonely). And it’s obvious to detect this. There is a difference between people who enjoys being alone or feels lonely because they feel the world is against them.

For instance, at times I enjoy spending time on my own because that is how I recharge myself. And there are  people who wants to be alone because they feel they are “hopeless” and they will holed themselves up at home most of the time, listening to depressing songs and watch reruns of sad movies. They prefer to do things alone and keep asking themselves why their life sucks. They beat themselves up and have low self-esteem. They will welcome people as & when they feel they are non “threaten”, but once people try to reach out to them, they clam up and push them away! They feel that no one will ever understand. Worst that if those people don’t feel miserable the way they do, it means that they don’t “understand”. Unless you feel miserable too, then you are on the same “boat”.

Sometimes, you will see them in bars drinking alone so they could numb their feelings and go to bed immediately.

They wish they have someone to talk to at 3am in the morning when they can’t sleep. And when you suggest to them that they need “help” or must find ways to help themselves, they went totally shut down. They assumed you are not ‘listening’ to empathise with them.

Honestly, I usually prefer to limit myself from these people as they can really suck your energy. Not because I don’t pity them, but because I was there before and I refuse to be part of any “pity me” session. Never again.

I went through THAT journey myself. And I am glad that I didn’t allow that feeling to evolve. I picked myself up and keep going. It’s not easy being a child and having to go through challenging journey. It’s the worst circumstances to be in.

I had no one to turn to, so I turned to education. I created a MISSION or GOAL for myself. And I make sure I achieve that and I did. I kept myself busy so I don’t get sucked into the self-pity mode. Trust me, I cried buckets when no one is looking. And when I am done crying, I continue my walk. I cannot undo the things that has happened, but I can make sure it will never happen again. I trained myself to be strong. God knows how many times I fall but I never let those wounds stop me. I get back up again and walk.

The only way to overcome this is TO LOVE YOURSELF. Ask yourself why would you allow sad memories eat you alive? What have they brought you? More sadness for sure! and why let sadness win?

It is okay to go through a healing journey. Cry all you want to. Rant all you need. Listen to sad songs and cry your eyeballs out. But it will not change your situation or make it any better. But it’s good to let the negativity off your system. LET IT GO. Kill it. Bury it.

And when you are done. Wear your battle suit and fight to the death. Fight to live. Fight and claim your happiness. You are the Captain of your life, you are in charge. Who is stopping you? You only have yourself and your fear to conquer.

Everything we feel or decide to do is by CHOICE.

Yes, circumstances may have affected you that you feel victimised by it. But everything happens for a reason. You don’t see it now, but someday when everything in your head is cleared up – you will realise how your sad situation have taught you things that even the most expensive self-help books can’t teach you.


My point is, stop victimising yourself. Everyone’s journey in life is unique. God has curated it for you according to your level of strengths. I know, it sounds insane. But it’s His way to strengthen you up – internally and spiritually. Seek him in your moment in despair. Believe His purpose for you. Deep down, everyone have something to offer. No one is ever hopeless.

So if you feel you are not good enough, that you should have died yesterday, stop that negative thoughts now.

You are only being selfish and allow misery to occupy your soul. If your destiny is to DIE YESTERDAY, you could have already been dead by now. Learn to BELIEVE that despite all this shitty things that you are going through – someday you may help others go through the same shitty feelings like you do. Think of how you got that help from someone that cares. Pay it forward.

You are born with a purpose and mission. Instead of punching yourself to pulp, get up and find out what that purpose is. It’s mind over matter. You can make it happen if YOU WANT TO.

You have a choice – get up and fight, claim your rights to happiness or walk away, die a loser.

Miracle doesn’t happen overnight. But if you don’t help yourself – who will?

Story by , posted on 27th August 2018 in Life & Inspiration, Thoughts

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